Regarding All Titles Recently Vacated by Departed Despots: Dibs

I call dibs. "Guiding Star of the 21st Century", "Glorious General, Who Descended from Heaven", "Amazing Politician", "Ever-Victorious, Iron-Willed Commander" and "Highest Incarnation of the Revolutionary Comradely Love" now refer to me, Nathan Jackson (as previously known, but henceforth known as [one of the titles mentioned above] Nathan Jackson). And I just blew your mind with brackets inside parenthesis. I do things like that because I am the Highest Incarnation of the Revolutionary Comradely Love (HIRCL for short). But what do these titles even mean? ANALYSIS, STAT!


Guiding Star of the 21st Century - A guide is, necessarily, in front. This is such that the sheeple (I'm being ironic here using "sheeple" because I listen to Indie music and wear square, thick-framed glasses) can clearly see the path chosen by the more intelligent and handsome individual leading them: me. However, there is more to this title than meets the eye thanks to the obscurities of the English language. On first read, it seems I am the Star who is guiding the implied sheeple - NOT SO, FUNKY READERS. I am so far ahead that I guide the star of the 21st century: Ken Jennings. If you have some kind of heart condition that causes your heart to stop after reading something overwhelmingly awesome, you'd be dead after reading the title, but even so, do not read any further. I present to you proof that Ken Jennings calls me sensei:

Ken,

In response to your request for map projection suggestions, I submit the Waterman Butterfly projection for reasons of aesthetics as well as a tone of pretentiousness.

Cheers,

Nathan Jackson

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Love the Waterman Butterfly!  Except for maybe Antarctica.

Ken

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Gentlemen,

What you behold with thine own ocular organs is in fact an email from one Kenneth Wayne Jennings III to yours truly, apropos of the Waterman Butterfly map projection.

SUCK IT,
Nathan Jackson

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That last email there might as well have been to you. Henceforth, consider it so. As for the other titles, it's really your own fault if you thought that I am structured enough to really BS my way through 5 of these things.

SUCK IT,

Nathan Jackson

Feynman, a Fine Man

Before Richard Feynman was anybody of note, he was given the task to audit the progress of what would eventually become a uranium enrichment facility. It was the beginning of the Manhattan Project, and Feynman had no idea what he was doing. His first day into the audit, several high ranking military officers threw down technical drawings in front of him and, assuming, correctly, that Feynman was a genius, described in detail how this incredibly complex facility operated. Feynman was completely lost. He was a physicist, not an engineer. What were all these symbols? Are those boxes valves or windows? Suddenly, the army generals were finished speaking. "Do you have any questions or see anything we can improve on, Mr. Feynman?" 24 year old and incredibly handsome Feynman pretended to concentrate on a particular drawing. How could he find out if they were windows or valves without betraying his ignorance? So, he put his finger on one of the enigmatic boxes and announced "Look, if you had one shot, one opportunity to seize everything you ever wanted in one moment, would you capture it or just let it slip?"

And that's the story of how Sir Ricardo Suave Feynman, Esq. got laid every day of his life.

Hey what's on your sweater already? Oh, that's just mom's spaghetti.

"Feynman, a Fine Man" is an ongoing effort by the Gombler staff to compulsively obsess over Richard Feynman and his influence on contemporary lyrics.