Regarding All Titles Recently Vacated by Departed Despots: Dibs

I call dibs. "Guiding Star of the 21st Century", "Glorious General, Who Descended from Heaven", "Amazing Politician", "Ever-Victorious, Iron-Willed Commander" and "Highest Incarnation of the Revolutionary Comradely Love" now refer to me, Nathan Jackson (as previously known, but henceforth known as [one of the titles mentioned above] Nathan Jackson). And I just blew your mind with brackets inside parenthesis. I do things like that because I am the Highest Incarnation of the Revolutionary Comradely Love (HIRCL for short). But what do these titles even mean? ANALYSIS, STAT!


Guiding Star of the 21st Century - A guide is, necessarily, in front. This is such that the sheeple (I'm being ironic here using "sheeple" because I listen to Indie music and wear square, thick-framed glasses) can clearly see the path chosen by the more intelligent and handsome individual leading them: me. However, there is more to this title than meets the eye thanks to the obscurities of the English language. On first read, it seems I am the Star who is guiding the implied sheeple - NOT SO, FUNKY READERS. I am so far ahead that I guide the star of the 21st century: Ken Jennings. If you have some kind of heart condition that causes your heart to stop after reading something overwhelmingly awesome, you'd be dead after reading the title, but even so, do not read any further. I present to you proof that Ken Jennings calls me sensei:

Ken,

In response to your request for map projection suggestions, I submit the Waterman Butterfly projection for reasons of aesthetics as well as a tone of pretentiousness.

Cheers,

Nathan Jackson

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Love the Waterman Butterfly!  Except for maybe Antarctica.

Ken

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Gentlemen,

What you behold with thine own ocular organs is in fact an email from one Kenneth Wayne Jennings III to yours truly, apropos of the Waterman Butterfly map projection.

SUCK IT,
Nathan Jackson

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That last email there might as well have been to you. Henceforth, consider it so. As for the other titles, it's really your own fault if you thought that I am structured enough to really BS my way through 5 of these things.

SUCK IT,

Nathan Jackson

The Most Vicious of Bears

There's more to Gombler than the sum content of everything on the site, excluding this blog. There is also this blog. In this sacred plot of webestate (portmanteau of the post), we may share with you our hopes and dreams for the future of Gombler or we may discuss the virtues of the majestic Ursa Lumen Columna. I just made that up with the help of Google Translate. He and I declare it to mean laser bear in Latin. If, nay, when these creatures assert their mighty power in high government positions, I can safely say that Gombler at least will welcome our new laser bear overlords. I give you my word that this will be a running theme for as long as we're not bored with it.

Enough about the future. Let's discuss what's growling out there in the woods presentlyish. This very day, as far as you know, I was proposed the following interrogative: Which is the most vicious bear? Of course, I correctly and voraciously bellowed URSUS MARITIMUS. Such a bear is strong, hardy, wily, and libertarian! Much to my chagrin, this impudent individual had the gumption to propose that the grizzly bear was in fact more worthy of this title. Not one to know things without also knowing how to use the infinite opinions of the internet to support being knowy, I presented a variety of easily found sources. Apropos, the following are, in fact, "sources", found easily:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polar_bear
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grizzly_bear

This is the quality of research you can expect from our top-tier company. Gombler: Answering your deepest questions as long as they're not too hard.

While we are on the subject of bears, and because I have the presence of mind to use said subject to segue into a humorous photograph of the teetotaler Ken Jennings, let's crush a misconception about bears. Bears don't hibernate in the winter. Guess who wrote that? Ken Jennings. Guess what he does? Crush misconceptions like he crushed little Susie at Disney trivia.

Nathan Jackson