The Witching Hour

What is that last magical hour at work called before you are free to make your own bad decisions for your life? ANSWER: the witching hour, as inferred by the title. Would you like to know what the correct nomenclature is for all nonwork activities taking place during the witching hour? Tis called Goldbricking, my gombs.

I would like to apologize for trying to create a brand-specific synonym for friends. It didn't work out as well as I thought it would one tenth of a second before I typed it.

Ah yes, the witching hour. Since the dawn of man, this has been the most sacred of hours. A mini-holiday, really. Seven hours of half-assed work followed by one hour of sweet sweet internet surfing and time-awasting. Named after Saint Witching, an unfortunately named Flemmish monk, the historical significance has not escaped the world's attention. Legend has it that St. Witching was his monastery's gatekeeper. One day while he was busy guarding the gate for his alloted time, he fell asleep at his job for precisely the last hour before he was off for the rest of the day. Whence he awoke (some accounts say "with a start", but this is not canon), he found that a roving band of bears most vicious had attacked and killed every other member of his monastery, as was common in those ancient times. Amongst the blood and the gore, St. Witching collapsed in dispair: falling onto a pile of bear excrement. The pain of falling onto a brick of heavy metal was soon outweighed by the joy that only money can bring, for all the piles of bear excrement in the monastery (of which there were many, for bears poop a lot) held a brick of gold.

I... don't... even...

So remember, gombs, every time you goldbrick during the witching hour, you are celebrating trading your friends' lives for gold, or something. We're done here.

Nathan Jackson

The Most Vicious of Bears

There's more to Gombler than the sum content of everything on the site, excluding this blog. There is also this blog. In this sacred plot of webestate (portmanteau of the post), we may share with you our hopes and dreams for the future of Gombler or we may discuss the virtues of the majestic Ursa Lumen Columna. I just made that up with the help of Google Translate. He and I declare it to mean laser bear in Latin. If, nay, when these creatures assert their mighty power in high government positions, I can safely say that Gombler at least will welcome our new laser bear overlords. I give you my word that this will be a running theme for as long as we're not bored with it.

Enough about the future. Let's discuss what's growling out there in the woods presentlyish. This very day, as far as you know, I was proposed the following interrogative: Which is the most vicious bear? Of course, I correctly and voraciously bellowed URSUS MARITIMUS. Such a bear is strong, hardy, wily, and libertarian! Much to my chagrin, this impudent individual had the gumption to propose that the grizzly bear was in fact more worthy of this title. Not one to know things without also knowing how to use the infinite opinions of the internet to support being knowy, I presented a variety of easily found sources. Apropos, the following are, in fact, "sources", found easily:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polar_bear
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grizzly_bear

This is the quality of research you can expect from our top-tier company. Gombler: Answering your deepest questions as long as they're not too hard.

While we are on the subject of bears, and because I have the presence of mind to use said subject to segue into a humorous photograph of the teetotaler Ken Jennings, let's crush a misconception about bears. Bears don't hibernate in the winter. Guess who wrote that? Ken Jennings. Guess what he does? Crush misconceptions like he crushed little Susie at Disney trivia.

Nathan Jackson