Druthers, as She is Had

Someone once told me that the greatness of the Danes is not soon forgotten. I can attest that I now hate this person and, more importantly, the bands thon likes. Of course, we can't speak of hating bands without also speaking of freakin Andy. Freakin Andy loves him some indie. In honor of freakin Andy, we've decided to sport our own indie band. You know, to be ironic. We've narrowed the list of band names to the following:

Atmospheric Cold Wars
Undefined Shaking
Intermittent Apathy

Furthermore, our debut album name has been narrowed down to the following:

So What, Soviet?
Alleviated Concern
The Eden Hierarchy

This debut album will contain such hits as:

I'm a Hipster, B*tch
Eyes are Like Portraits (Best Viewed through Thick Frames)
This Coffee's Okay
Let Me Tell You of my Mission Trip to Mexico
Applied Fair Trade to Catan and Lost

We've already played five sold out venues, but haven't made any money. We like to pack the house, then kick everyone out right before we play and give them all refunds. Then we play to an empty house. It's more intimate and underground that way.

Tebow?

Nathan Jackson

Regarding All Titles Recently Vacated by Departed Despots: Dibs

I call dibs. "Guiding Star of the 21st Century", "Glorious General, Who Descended from Heaven", "Amazing Politician", "Ever-Victorious, Iron-Willed Commander" and "Highest Incarnation of the Revolutionary Comradely Love" now refer to me, Nathan Jackson (as previously known, but henceforth known as [one of the titles mentioned above] Nathan Jackson). And I just blew your mind with brackets inside parenthesis. I do things like that because I am the Highest Incarnation of the Revolutionary Comradely Love (HIRCL for short). But what do these titles even mean? ANALYSIS, STAT!


Guiding Star of the 21st Century - A guide is, necessarily, in front. This is such that the sheeple (I'm being ironic here using "sheeple" because I listen to Indie music and wear square, thick-framed glasses) can clearly see the path chosen by the more intelligent and handsome individual leading them: me. However, there is more to this title than meets the eye thanks to the obscurities of the English language. On first read, it seems I am the Star who is guiding the implied sheeple - NOT SO, FUNKY READERS. I am so far ahead that I guide the star of the 21st century: Ken Jennings. If you have some kind of heart condition that causes your heart to stop after reading something overwhelmingly awesome, you'd be dead after reading the title, but even so, do not read any further. I present to you proof that Ken Jennings calls me sensei:

Ken,

In response to your request for map projection suggestions, I submit the Waterman Butterfly projection for reasons of aesthetics as well as a tone of pretentiousness.

Cheers,

Nathan Jackson

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Love the Waterman Butterfly!  Except for maybe Antarctica.

Ken

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Gentlemen,

What you behold with thine own ocular organs is in fact an email from one Kenneth Wayne Jennings III to yours truly, apropos of the Waterman Butterfly map projection.

SUCK IT,
Nathan Jackson

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That last email there might as well have been to you. Henceforth, consider it so. As for the other titles, it's really your own fault if you thought that I am structured enough to really BS my way through 5 of these things.

SUCK IT,

Nathan Jackson