I would like to apologize for trying to create a brand-specific synonym for friends. It didn't work out as well as I thought it would one tenth of a second before I typed it.
Ah yes, the witching hour. Since the dawn of man, this has been the most sacred of hours. A mini-holiday, really. Seven hours of half-assed work followed by one hour of sweet sweet internet surfing and time-awasting. Named after Saint Witching, an unfortunately named Flemmish monk, the historical significance has not escaped the world's attention. Legend has it that St. Witching was his monastery's gatekeeper. One day while he was busy guarding the gate for his alloted time, he fell asleep at his job for precisely the last hour before he was off for the rest of the day. Whence he awoke (some accounts say "with a start", but this is not canon), he found that a roving band of bears most vicious had attacked and killed every other member of his monastery, as was common in those ancient times. Amongst the blood and the gore, St. Witching collapsed in dispair: falling onto a pile of bear excrement. The pain of falling onto a brick of heavy metal was soon outweighed by the joy that only money can bring, for all the piles of bear excrement in the monastery (of which there were many, for bears poop a lot) held a brick of gold.
I... don't... even...
So remember, gombs, every time you goldbrick during the witching hour, you are celebrating trading your friends' lives for gold, or something. We're done here.
Nathan Jackson
